Open Yourself To Love

By : Rini Palupi Radikun

people, we have to love our families, etc. We have to live with "love" : we have to live with others thus we have to have "love". Everyone dreams of love, love is the greatest thing in life. The question is: why is there so much hate among us? We can be certain that the frequency of people complaining about other people far exceeds of those saying “I love you”. Aren’t we supposed to love each other?
What is it so difficult about love? Why do people love to hate?

What is love and what constitutes love? In its simplest term, love is probably the feeling of “I like the person, I am willing to do things for him/her.” Hate, on the contrary, means “I don’t like the person, I don’t want to be with the person.” Love is willingness to give for others, hate is the inclination toward keeping a safe distance, if not repelling, people. What motivate people to serve others, what make people want to stay away from other people?

The art of giving or receiving love can be difficult for some people because:
• Love has to be unconditional, requiring people to give without expecting something in return. It means a give away, for some people it means giving up their hard-earned resources. It leaves void and it puts people out of balance, which can lead to deprivation. Love is only for those living with abundance, only for those who can afford to do so. In such a situation, love may not seem to be a “rational” thing to do.
• Most people are not in the habit of showing gratitude for receiving love. Children are the perfect example, not only do they take love for granted, but also they show defiance to those who love them the most. Therefore, giving love can be painful for some people – not getting the appreciation they deserve makes them feel unworthy for those who receive love sometimes even demand for more.
• Most of us live in the habit of believing that they are not worthy of love, that “love is too good to be true”. Or people are simply not used to receiving love because they believe that “there is no such thing as a free lunch”. When receiving, people automatically believe that they have to give something in return.
• People believe in fairness and balance. Take and give has to be equal, you get what you give. However, love can be unfair since those we give to sometimes cannot return the favor. On the other hand, love is love because it doesn’t have to be earned. Therefore, love can be quite absurd for some people.

It seems that living the concept of love requires a lot of understanding and willingness to go beyond the fair equation of giving and receiving. It can be hard to comprehend and will need extra efforts. It makes sense that people tend to follow their impulsive urge to hate other people. Yet, we are extraordinary people and that what makes human beings so special.